he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you had me at cake vodka
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
