Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It was confusing and full of hummus
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
