found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
