BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
