here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
