Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize