sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
