she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
