I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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