Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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