I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
