apparently the secret to your success is patron
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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