this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
