I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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