smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
