there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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