so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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