I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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