I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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