how can u be prego again
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
