this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
