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I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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