I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Randomize