if i can run in heels then i can drive
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize