I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Never joke about your clitoris.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
