Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
