Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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