Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He did a backflip because drugs
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
