He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
