Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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