and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
