I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
