I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
