This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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