it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i think i just lost a toe
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
