How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
