do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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