Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
