Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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