you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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