I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
