Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
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