3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
