I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize