Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
