Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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