You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
