I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
