1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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