Swine flu. Run for my life!
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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