Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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