I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
