i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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