Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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