My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
