I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
